The Life and Times of Me

My life in a few hundred words or less. Born in Millbrook, AL; Grew up loving the water and everything about it; Hate swimming in a pool, but love the salt water; Definitely had a fat stage where I wore husky jeans (age 11); Thankfully grew up and thinned out; Maxed out at a grand old height of 5'9"; Played baseball, but not very well; Played football, but not very well; Played golf, not to bad at golf;Tried playing basketball in Junior High; White men really can't jump; Actually got my ass kicked more often than not in football as I was a linebacker; But I could kick pretty well;Was voted most likely to succeed my senior year and still waiting for the perks to kick in because it hasn't happened yet (Although I have learned that there is much more to life than monetary advancement); Certified in scuba diving; Dove some great wrecks on the Panhandle of Florida and have had some dives that I would just as soon forget; Had a fellow diver play with a Moray Eel (nitrogen narcosis); Went to Auburn right out of high school; Bad Idea; Pulled a Jimmy Buffett while he was at Auburn; This means I made the deans list; Wrong dean's list; Although, Jimmy once quoted Mark Twain in an excellent book that states, "I have never let my schooling get in the way of my education". Still, I had a lot of great times;Laredo Mexican Restaurant-Thanks for all the nights where I didn't make it to class the next morning; While on the subject of J.B., I love all of his music; Had a class where I sat next to Tim Hudson; He is making way more money than I am (His fastball is just a little better than mine, but I have a feeling my knuckleball is better than his....I can still run that thing up at a whopping speed of damn near fifty mph....don't laugh....it dances like Emmit Smith when he was on "Dancing with the Stars"); Got married to the wrong woman; Now happily divorced from the wrong woman; Now found the right woman. Thank God. Tracy is the best thing to EVER happen to me. Spend every moment I can on my boat; No love boat or speed boat, just a nice fishing boat; Nick's is the best seafood restaurant in Florida; If you have ever eaten there then you probably ate some of the fish I caught; If you ate blue crabs, well then thank Trey; Give me oysters and beer for dinner every day of the year and I'll feel fine (Tin Cup Chalice); Although, the beer has since had to stop and I don't eat the oysters as much as I used to....Damn the whole family trait for high cholesterol; Love Auburn sports of all kinds; Take AU football way too seriously; Watch Braves baseball every chance I get; Pull for the Green Bay Packers every Sunday; Posed as a pirate once in Hooters restaurant (The waitress actually believed I really was one-Yikes!); Support our troops wherever they are; Currently writing a book that my mother should never read, but my father would love; Beach Bum stuck on the mainland and waiting to live by the sea; Love my Hawaiian shirts and flip flops; Maybe I really want to move to an island; Thought I was merely a Republican, but now realize that I am a Conservative; Conservationist, but not a "Tree Hugger"; Christian, but a sinner; Believe in life, love, and the pursuit of a solitary beach with a lot of fish; War Damn Eagle!